Recognizing Your “Booger In Your Nose” Patterns in Relationships

I believe we are here on this Earth to create play and fun in our lives aka joy! Which you would think is an easy thing to do—we used to do it so well as children…remember? So why does it seem so elusive?

We seem to be stuck in a pattern like a recursive loop for those geeks like me out there! A pattern of suffering, frustration and drama—like a comfortable “binkie” blanket that we won’t let go of! It’s no wonder we can’t access joy when we operate like this!!!

What is really interesting is that our friends/family—others can see what our pattern is but usually they are too nice to let us know or we are too stubborn to listen! If we could only read our own instructions on the outside of our box that we live in… then we could perhaps do something different? Like a booger in your nose--everyone else can see it but you and if others would just tell you it was there, you would remove it!!!

But would we, if we really knew what our destructive patterns were? Remember that blanket is sure soft are warm!?!? I will take the stand that if you did know you had a "booger in your nose"--if you knew what those patterns were, you would choose to do something different or at least realize what you were doing and choose it powerfully anyways!

So how would you go about recognizing those pesky patterns? Take out 4 sheets of paper and write at the top of each sheet the name of each person with whom you were in a relationship with…from 2 week-ers up to multiple year-ers! Start with the last relationship you had then go back in time from there. For each relationship, answer these questions:

1) How did it start?
2) How did it go?
3) How did it end?
4) What part did you play in the story of that relationship?
5) What part did they play in the story of that relationship?

Look to see if there is a pattern emerging…even ask a friend to see if they noticed any patterns in your last few relationships?

Are you always the victim and they are always the jerk/bitch? Are they sweet as sugar and you think “oh my this is too go to be true—I’m outta here!” and run scared without even as much as a goodbye-nice-knowing-ya? What is you M.O.??

Once you recognize what your M.O. is, now you can choose what you will do next time—consciously instead of unconsciously—or automatic! You get to be in control of you instead of the auto-pilot mechanism that engages every time like a chain reaction!

Look for more in my next entry on what you can do different and have a different result—even the results you want!!!